You and I need to have a sit-down. Just you and me. I feel – well, I feel like maybe you’re playing games with me.
At first, everything was all glossy and potentially as much as 30% off, but some days, you just seem like you’re high.
And when you give me something? When you give me something, it just seems like you’re trying to get me to give you something back in return.
I’m pretty sure you’re toying with me.
For instance, why would you withhold that $20 until the next time I see you? Why couldn’t you just give it to me today? Are you trying to keep me around? Trying to keep me interested? To keep me coming back?
I feel like you’re a little manipulative. And controlling.
And you jerk me around like a ragdoll sometimes, you know? Just let me walk away, knowing full well everything will be cheaper tomorrow.
Is that what you think of me?
It’s like you’re someone different every time I see you. One day, you’re buy one, get one for a penny, the next you’re no interest for six months, and the next you’re the Lowest Price of the Season! It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.
What happened to the good old days when things were transparent? Remember? With the price tags? The sticky ones? That stuck?
Now it seems like you’ve gotten a little big for your britches, with your fancy digital displays and your loyalty card. And your VIP credit events. I feel like a pawn.
And your sales? What sales? With you, there are no sales. Everything comes at a price.
If this keeps up, I’m afraid I am going to have to break up with you. Yep, break up. Shop at another store.
I really think we need a break. I’m just going to, you know, see what else is out there. I can’t be party to your mind games any longer.
And I will. Just as soon as I spend this certificate I got the last time I was here.