Does anything remind you of your past life, your life before children?
For me, it’s our Yankee Candle collection, now neatly organized in a box in our living room closet.
Every time I open the door (for diapers), I catch an intoxicating whiff of life without children.
We used to buy the candles for special occasions, to brighten the holidays or a particular seasons. To complement our clean, tidy home.
Now, like the person I once was (and will probably never be again), they are relegated to the bottom shelf of a closet, only to be taken out for very special occasions.
I did think about this. I thought, would they even fit in now? With the sectional that’s broken and saturated with almost two years’ worth of formula and Resolve? On the kitchen counter where we now keep my son Matthew’s shoes? On the coffee table that’s in the garage because there’s no room for it between bouncy seats, activity centers, and a play yard? The answer, I’m afraid, is no. No. They don’t fit. Much like the person I was before popping out three kids in two years wouldn’t fit.
Fortunately, I’ve made my peace with it, but when I want to escape, and I do, you will find me with my head in the living room closet.