Farrah can be tracked down at her blog The Three Under where she shares the adventures, catastrophes, and emergencies of having three boys under the age of three. She’s a former Midwesterner now living in the Deep South. You can follow her on Twitter @Momofthreeunder and on Facebook.
I spent a few very frustrating days trying to pound out a funny/romantically-inspired post for my guest spot here. I was trying too hard, and honestly, it sucked.
Look, we have three boys under age three, and right now romance isn’t exactly the first thing on our minds. It’s more like who’s crying, who pooped, who is fighting, who needs to eat, who isn’t sleeping, who is sick, etc… times three. So, THAT is what we’re doing these days, and that is why I do not have a romantic post for you. Instead, I sat and tried to think about the bigger scope of what Valentine’s Day is for ME (the mama of all boys).
The love that I feel is not a romantic love, but it is still affection nonetheless. And that is something that I have for all of my guys- all four of them, hubs included. My husband is my romantic Valentine no matter what. We have a pile of rain checks for the days we can spend alone together to do ‘romantic-y’ things. He will always be my very first Valentine. He is the Jack to my Meg, the Jerry to my Elaine. I love him so much, and feel like I hit the jackpot the night I met him.
What I feel for my children is very different. The love a mom experiences with her first born child is overwhelming at times. We experience something no one can prepare us for. There are no books that teach you just HOW MUCH having a child can rock your world. Overnight, you can be consumed with an emotion that combines manic devotion and weepy joy. Experiencing that feeling for the first time is daunting, so you can imagine the fear when you start to think about how to make room for more.
One of the things I worried the most about while pregnant with twins was how I could possibly have the space to love anyone (let alone two more anyones) as much as my son. People will tell you that adding children doesn’t divide your love, but multiplies it. That’s true, but it’s harder to explain. It’s as if I somehow managed to make room for people I didn’t know I’d ever need to make room for. I have these three little people in my heart who truly feel like they’ve been there all along. It’s overwhelming as well- and humbling to be sure. These little boys are extensions of my husband and I, and what we want the world to be. Our children are a gift that we sometimes don’t feel worthy to have received, but know we’re lucky to have. I cannot imagine life without them.
This all coming from a woman who was not going to have children. My husband and I joke now about how I told him I wasn’t really crazy about kids and wasn’t sure I wanted any, which was almost a dealbreaker when we were dating. HAHAHAHAHA!
So here I am today, with this little tribe of Valentines, 365 days a year. I change a thousand diapers a day, fill a million sippy cups a week, and kiss away countless tears a month. Life is a challenge and sometimes a struggle, but I look at their little faces and can feel the love coming back to me a thousandfold. I feel very, very loved indeed, and hope you do, too.
Happy Valentine’s Day!